feels so much like falling

confusion is wrapped about me like a hooded shawl.
i pause for one moment and feel it's thick weight blanketing my shoulders and its intimate warmth.

unsurity drags me like a leash.
in our mad world my dog barks and leads me foward with it.
when i slow i can feel the suffocation of my choke chain.

insecurity is likened to feet on the edge while eyes are put out.
never knowing.
never ever knowing.
while the only sound to be heard is grimy pebbles trickling down the ravine.

mayhaps it was wise of me to retain hold of my heart.
perhaps it won't hurt so bad when i fall.
if i fall at all.

or i will continue living. wearing my shawl, pulled by my leash, with my feet on the edge of a canyon.
waiting.
for the shove.