Yellow Butterfly

Small child so innocent is she,

Breathing vivacity.

To all in mind and voice akin,

Flitting Saffron wings.

No fear, nor war. Helios good reign.

In oblivion, sing.

Till Nortus dooming plague befalls-

Hail maims Saffron frail wings.

In clamor did lurk Black spiders,

Hands made for youth seizing.

Hoisted to their living Hell,

Trembling Saffron vain wings.

Writhing without relief – their mass.

Lusting the good to scream.

Monody chants, greedy claws rip,

Red, once Saffron – slashed wings.

Away is all! Vulnerable.

Death in the hour beats.

And she is doomed as 'fore rebirth...

Downfall – Saffron, her wings.

Abject

"It makes me sad to see you sad. Always sad."
-Mother

I don't understand.
I feel I can't be any other way.
But I can write. I can paint. I can breathe.
I'll endure, and I'll survive.
I just need to get out of this town.
Somewhere I can use my wings.
Instead of being ashamed of them.

Too much for pretty

You preach to me how to be beautiful.

Sexy and seductive. Rare china devoured by bulls.

You shape my eyebrows to arch like the backs of angry cats.

Peirce holes in my ears so I may adorn showy jewels.

You sell me paint for highlighting,

Because my face for your taste is much too trite.

You give me tools to guise already dead cells.

To either straight or curl - hair steams like hell.

You needle ink into my skin to identity spell.

Because a voice in the crowd is a shame.

You give me sharp razors to carve away black hair

The cream meant to protect streaks down my calves like blood.

I've acquiesced it all.

Violet

Under sea-green eyes are carved black hollows.
In some petrifying morbid way, they are captivating and eerily breathtaking.

Those onyx half moons are possessed by an anemic gorgeous little doll.
She has refused rest for the night's entirety, and now the moon has been eaten by her lover, the sun.

Ten fragile fingers bear her countings of the world's shameful problems.
They wane heavy, until they fall to the floor with ten flicks of a knife.

She used to draw the perfect eyes of those she loved.
Whether blinded, delighted, glass, or wooden.

But no longer can she let irises know of her love.
Her fingers are gone.

But the earth's pain still weights.

Daddy's Promise

My minuscule craft trembles with the water's lap.
You slide it placidly away from safety beach.
My poor boat and I are frightened by the sound of water's slap.
You will never leave me.

As far as my broken eyes can attest there is no element but water.
I am overwhelmed by terror of concepting no safety, my mouth has not reserve and only can scream.
In panic I dash my oars into dark waters, I am after all, Your most ruptured daughter.
But You will never leave me.

My fingers are unceasingly pricked with glass,
My bones raw bleeding, infested with sin fleas,
My voice a nervous dagger or forlorn and dumb.
My Elohim, You will never leave me.

Dear Father you whispered hope in my head,
But content in my misery, I heard no plea.
Laying tortured. Futile in my stead.
Dear God, please promise You will never leave me!

One reticent evening I beckoned the wail of my most lovely brother.
Awakened was my mind from it's stupor vicinity.
No longer for myself but for him I will comfort.
Jesus...You will never leave me?

Only by Thou might I come to myself.
Only by You may I his soul appease.
Rescue us together from our created hells.
I know You will never leave me.

I trust You.
I trust You.
I trust You.
You will never leave me.

Goodbye my friends, I may never return,
But I am assured of one promise He brings,
It will until my journey ends, fiery burn,
My Daddy, my God, will never leave me.

God uses satire. A mess in the skies to portray the mess on this earth.

*10/22/09
I think God decided to be Jackson Polluck today.

attesting angst

my heart hurts today.

this frail body cannot enclose such a massive tsunami.

and my tears only know how to give me away.

my tears and my sad silent smiles.

they give me away.